Reversing the Curse of Fatherlessness

Dr. Tony Evans: Nobody told you you have a glorious future. Nobody told you you were somebody special. Nobody told you. There's a desperate need today for men to be called back to a biblical definition of not maleness, but of manhood.
Guest (Male): This is the Alternative broadcast featuring the timeless biblical teachings from the archives of Dr. Tony Evans. When a problem goes unchecked, it can become a crisis. And when a crisis is left unresolved, it can turn into a curse. Today, Dr. Evans explains why the epidemic of fatherlessness in America fits that description and what we can do to help reverse it. Let's listen.
Dr. Tony Evans: Malachi chapter 3, verses 4 through 6: "Remember the law of Moses, my servant, even the statues and ordinances which I commanded him in Horeb for all Israel. Behold, I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse." These are not good days for fatherhood. In fact, I can pretty confidently say that fatherlessness is the scourge of our time. More than 24 million children in the United States grow up without their biological fathers in the home. The result is increased poverty, drug addiction, dropout, and delinquency. In fact, 63 percent of youth who commit suicide have no father in the home. 90 percent of homeless young people are so because there's no father in the home. 80 percent of young rapists grew up without a father in the home. 71 percent of school dropouts have no father in the home. 70 percent of juvenile delinquents have no father in the home. 94 percent of prisoners in jail grew up without a father. There are generations today of women with nobody to marry because the ones that are available aren't worth marrying. This is a social scourge when fathers are nowhere to be found. The Bible pictures fatherlessness as not merely a social problem but as a spiritual problem. It's not just there because society has problems. This means that if it's not merely a social problem, you can't just solve it with a social solution. God has said in this passage that this breach of fatherlessness is because there is an impending curse on the culture. A curse in the Bible is a spiritual problem that must be resolved spiritually. The Bible distinguishes between two things: blessings and curses. Blessings are the beneficial goodness that God provides to and through His people. Curses, on the other hand, are the negative patterns that develop in a person or in a group that are transferred cross-generationally. The reality is that today we're raising a generation who neither know their biological father nor any surrogate worth their while. The Bible says that this curse, this smiting of the land, this negative rollover that occurs cross-generationally, is a spiritual problem because it is indicative of a curse. God wanted to reverse this fatherless curse. Why was this a big deal? Why was it a big deal to return the hearts of the fathers to the children and the hearts of the children to the fathers? What did that have to do with the land and its wellbeing and the culture and its wellbeing? Why was this fatherless deal so big? It is because the blessing of God was passed through the father. That's why Esau could say, "Bless me, oh father." That's why Jacob tricked Esau for the blessing. God said, "I am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." He wasn't distancing females, but He was saying that the father would be the key linchpin by which the goodness of God would be transferred down to the children. It would be the father who would be positioned like Adam to hear from God, translate it to his family, and pass it down generationally. If the father is the key person to transfer the blessing down generationally and you were the enemy, you would get rid of Dad. There would be a higher possibility that the blessing would not be passed down. In fact, there are a lot of people here still looking for their daddy's blessing, still looking for some male to stand over you and to promise you a glorious future. That's what the blessing did. The blessing said God has something special for your tomorrow. We have a generation of children today who have never been blessed by Dad, so they don't see a future. You can go a long way in a messed up today if you can see a better tomorrow. But if you've never been blessed and nobody has ever laid hands on you and told you God's special glorious future for your tomorrow, then you don't see down the line. All you see is now. If now is messed up, you're messed up too. The problem today is many people are living under a curse that they think is a social problem. They want the government to fix it or they want other folks to fix it, not understanding that if it's a spiritual curse, it can only be spiritually corrected. It's like going against the wind or going with the wind. If you're going with the wind, you're going the way the wind is going. If you're going against the wind, you're going in opposition to the wind. What God was saying is if you remember my covenant and turn around, you'll go with my blessings rather than against my blessings, which is called a curse. In Ezekiel 18, it says that the fathers will eat sour grapes and the teeth of their children will be rotten. It says the fathers will start it off by eating sour grapes, but it's going to show up in the teeth—the rottenness of their kids. You think it's bad now? Wait until our children start having children. It's a spiritual problem that can only be addressed spiritually. He says, "Remember the law of Moses." Remember the agreement. That's why when you take communion, the Bible says Jesus said, "Do this in remembrance of me." He's not just saying think nice thoughts about me. He's saying remember this agreement we have. That's why communion is called the communion of the new covenant. This is the new covenant I make with you. Remember the agreement, this arrangement that I have. This arrangement must be addressed in order for your circumstance to change. A lot of people want a change in the circumstance when they're not abiding by the agreement. You have to be operating covenantally if you want the benefits of the covenant. Don't be surprised if you, your family, or your culture is deteriorating when you have forgotten the agreement.
Guest (Male): Are you hungry for more of God? More of His truth? More of His power? And more of His wisdom applied in your life? Then you need to connect with the community of passionate believers who are growing in God's word through the Tony Evans Training Center. With exclusive video and audio teaching from Dr. Tony Evans, this interactive online study experience allows you to explore theology, biblical history, and real-life application of the kingdom agenda. Anytime, anywhere. Visit tonyevanstraining.org to get started today. That's tonyevanstraining.org. If you're concerned about the pressures today's culture places on families, I want to tell you about a resource package that can help. It starts with Tony's two-volume, 13-message series, Parenting on Purpose. In these lessons, Dr. Evans explains how parents can provide the guidance, stability, and spiritual leadership children need in an increasingly confused world. We'd like to send you this practical audio collection as our thank you gift when you make a donation to support the ministry of the Alternative. To help you continue growing beyond the messages, we'll also include Tony's highly acclaimed book, Raising Kingdom Kids. It offers practical encouragement for parents who want to intentionally shape their children's hearts, values, and future from a biblical perspective. To take advantage of this limited-time deal, just visit tonyevans.org and look for more information right on the homepage. Or if it's more convenient, simply give us a call at 1-800-800-3222, where one of our friendly team members is ready to assist you. That's tonyevans.org or by phone, anytime of the day or night, at 1-800-800-3222. I'll repeat that information after the second part of today's lesson. Here's Dr. Evans picking up his study on how to reverse the curse of fatherlessness.
Dr. Tony Evans: The word Elijah is from two words. El, which means might or strength, and Yah, which means God. Elijah is used as a messenger of God sent to give spiritual insight on a matter before God has to deal with it Himself. Here's what you want: you don't want the day of the Lord. You want Elijah. You want a messenger from God who will get you back on track before God has to get you back on track directly. He says here is what Elijah will do: he will restore the hearts of the fathers to the children and then he will restore the hearts of the children to the fathers. He will reconnect broken relationships. There was a broken relationship of the nation with God, so there were broken relationships socially. There was havoc in society because there was breakdown spiritually. It just was showing up in society. Elijah's job will be calling men back to their rightful place, returning the hearts of the fathers to the children. Why must men be called back to their rightful place? It is because the blessing flows through you. I know many of you have never been blessed, so you don't even know that there's supposed to be a blessing you pass down. You don't know what that blessing is or how to pass it down because nobody told you you have a glorious future. Nobody told you you were somebody special. Nobody told you you don't have to demonstrate your manhood in illegitimate means. Nobody told you. So you don't know how to pass it on. You're just kind of learning as you go. But there's a desperate need today for men to be called back to a biblical definition of not maleness, but of manhood. He says he will return the fathers and their hearts back to their children because we have a generation of fathers who have no heart for their children. That's why they don't pay child support, they don't show up and visit, or they don't even know how many they have. They don't have a heart for the children that they sire. They could care less. The courts are filled trying to make fathers pay who don't have a heart. But when Elijah comes, when God's message comes, it will return the heart of the fathers to the children. And when the heart of the fathers is restored to the children, then the heart of the children will be restored back to the fathers. We have a generation of women, some of them are in here, who hate men because they've been used by men, abused by men, and messed over by men. So they don't think much of men. When they describe men, they have another synonym for it: dog. Because their view of men is to be used, abused, messed over, and then trashed. But if the hearts of the fathers, through the message of God, are changing, then the children will begin to respond. They did this nature special on a herd of young bull elephants who were running wild. They were tearing over trees, they were fighting each other, and they were creating havoc in this environment. They were knocking over the huts where the natives were living. These were male elephants gone wild. They were trying to figure out what was going on with this herd until they noticed something: there were no adult males in the herd. They were all teenage elephants who had lost their natural mind. They were going crazy because there were no adult bull elephants in there. The reason there were no adult bull elephants is that poachers had come in and killed all of them to get the ivory. So the young teenage bull elephants went wild. They flew in some male bull adult elephants and dropped them into the herd. They wanted to see what would happen. When these adult elephants were dropped into the midst of the chaos, they began flapping their ears. They would raise their trunk and they would make these sounds. Then they would flap their ears faster, raise their trunk, and make these sounds. After a few days of this, the teenage bull elephants calmed down. They stopped being wild and they got a little decent and in order. Why? Because there was a big bull now calling the shots. As long as the teenage bull elephants were calling their own shots, you had bad gangs of elephants who were hanging around. You had elephants that had gone crazy with no discipline. But when they dropped in the adult bull elephants and they flapped their ears and raised their trunk and gave the sound, it was calling for order, or else you have to deal with us. That's because there were no adult bull elephants in their midst. We need a generation of bull elephants—real men who flap their ears and raise their trunks and sound out the truth of what a man really is to calm these fools down who don't know how to act. They've never seen a bull elephant in their midst. We need some bull elephants out here who are man enough to say, "As for me and my house, you don't talk to women that way. You don't talk to your mother that way. You open the door, you pull out the chair, you learn how to be respectful, and you learn how to have dignity." I need some bulls. Fathers whose hearts are restored to the children. That's why I consider it my legacy, what we're trying to do in these schools. If somebody doesn't get to these kids, you don't understand the consequences. In some of these schools, 50 percent of the kids are dropping out. When a teenager drops out before he has a high school diploma, that means poverty. That means probably drugs, crime, more prisons, more jails, and more taxes. When a kid doesn't even have a high school diploma, most of them don't have a legal option. Unless these kids are told to stay in school and be responsible, they will act a whole other way. But I've seen what bull elephants can do. A former principal called me up and said, "Look, we've got gangs going crazy over here and this is causing havoc. Is there anything the church can do?" I said, "Okay, you bring all the boys into the auditorium." He shut down the classes, brought all the boys into the auditorium, and I walked over there with 25 men from the church. We walked over there and we lined the aisles of the auditorium. First of all, you could tell that most of those boys hadn't seen that many men in one place at one time. We had 25 men lining the aisle and they didn't have their pants hanging around their ankles. They were in suits and ties, standing up there dignified and looking like they had some sense. I talked about what it means to be a man and what it means to be responsible. Whenever a guy started talking, I said, "Don't you hear somebody talking up there?" See, it was another man. I had 25 bulls in the midst of this chaos. After that one meeting, gang activity stopped. Why? Because they had a look at what it looks like when men are in their midst. Our kids need to see men in their midst who love God and who love them. It says I will return the heart. It just won't be external activity; it'll be an internal heart. It will be internal care and internal support. He says I'll return the heart of the father to the children so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse. There's a bad day coming, but it doesn't have to come. If I can get people to listen to Elijah, the messenger to take you back to the covenant, then He says He will not come and destroy the land. Things are bad. 40 percent of all children are growing up without a father. In the minority community, that is 70 percent, but 40 percent of all children overall. With the divorce rate and teenage pregnancies, it's climbing. The price tag for what some of these kids are doing now, you wouldn't have even thought about years ago. It's a curse being passed down and societal colds have now become cultural pneumonia. But if God can raise a generation of men—real men, of fathers—who will return. You say, "But I've already messed up. I've sired kids I haven't taken care of. I've messed up." And maybe you didn't even have a father. Well then you know what you need? You need to be blessed. Because a blessing talks about your future. A blessing talks about where God wants you to be and where God is going to take you if you allow Him. You need to be blessed.
Guest (Male): Dr. Tony Evans, showing how God specializes in turning failures into faithful fathers. Now if you've gathered some helpful information in today's lesson, I want you to know that there's more waiting in Tony's complete series called Parenting on Purpose. This two-volume collection contains 13 full-length messages packed with biblical insight and practical encouragement for parents and grandparents alike. And for just a few more days now, when you make a donation and request the series, we'll include a complimentary bonus: Tony's popular book, Raising Kingdom Kids. Together, these resources can help you build a stronger spiritual legacy for the people you love most. Visit tonyevans.org today to learn more or call our resource center at 1-800-800-3222 and let one of our team members assist you. That's 1-800-800-3222. The Bible says God is eager to give His people wisdom. But tomorrow, Dr. Evans talks about why so few of us take Him up on that offer. It's a look at how God can equip us to make better decisions. I hope you'll join us.